This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize