it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
