my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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