Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
