Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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