she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
