I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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