all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
