so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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