I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize