I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize