The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
