sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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