I think im going to throw up on grandma
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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