We're facebook friends in real life
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
