i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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