Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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