Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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