walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
