Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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