Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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