I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
