I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have fence marks all over my body
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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