I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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