absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
