GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
