is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
