why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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