we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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