i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Someone shattered a urinal.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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