I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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