umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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