So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
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does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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