We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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