Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
