What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You were trust falling into bushes
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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