I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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