Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
