Soap is not a condiment
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
