Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
