Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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