hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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