So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
someone owes me an orgasm
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
