How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
