Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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