So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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