I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Randomize
