he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
