fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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