So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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