how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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