so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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