He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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