did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
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