What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
