4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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