Can i not drive my cunt home
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
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