would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
