Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
