Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i love accidental penises.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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