You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
