Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
