i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
