You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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