I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
MIDGETS
????
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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