I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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