I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
