If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
