you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
